What I Did

So, about the job.

Yes, I quit. I resigned, handed in my notice, said thank you and au revoir. It's been a great four years. A wonderful place to work, with colleagues that have become friends and clients that have been fun, generous and challenging. It's been very good. But for a number of reasons it's time to do something else. To do something I haven't done before.

So come January I will start my own business (website coming soon!). I will do what I do today, but no longer as part of the team I'm used to. No safety net. No paid vacation. No boss. Just me and my computer and hopefully more work than I can handle. I'm very excited and a little terrified.

How I will do noone knows. I hope excellent, but will settle for good. I just know that this is something I have to do. I have to try. I have to see if I can do this on my own. And that feeling, that feeling of not knowing what lies ahead and being thrilled and scared and happy and jumpy and full of joy? Oh, I want to feel like that again and again and again.

Thanks for reading, thanks for listening. Thanks for worrying about me and wishing me well. Thank you.

'Tis The Season To Be Cold

The iPhone isn't made for love in a cold climate, as you can see. But I carry it with me, as opposed to the camera, so it will have to do. Yesterday was warmer, around 0°c (30°F), but today it's back to cold again. Cold and pretty. No sun, but snow falling outside my window. Last winter was the same and I feel we're getting used to the extremes. The change of seasons is suddenly as big as in a children's picture book. It's like living on a film set. "More snow over here, please! No, more!" Everything covered in heavy white, every branch glistening with frost. The director's motto seem to be Over The Top. That's my kind of production.

This Weeks Eats

My mother came to town on a surprise visit. My best kind of surprise. I surprised her right back with making gingerbread cookies as she walked through the door, the children white with flour, jumping up and down and rubbing it off on her coat. Everybody happy. And the house smells like Christmas.

Jesper made us fried cod for dinner. So fresh it fell to pieces, we emptied the plates in minutes. (Jennie, it was supposedly fished where it's not extinct. Yes, I can hear myself, sorry. But oh, how good it was.)

Everything is still covered in snow. It's so pretty and the iPhone really doesn't do it justice. But I will post you a whole bunch of photos tomorrow, anyway, because it's like living in a fairytale right now. Weatherwise, that is.

We decorated the gingerbread skyscraper my father and the children made a week ago. A lion, a camel and a parrot moved in. And we dusted it and ourselves with sugar and made little clouds of snow out of cotton.

And I quit my job.

Monday
Fried cod, dipped in French mustard, eggs and breadcrumbs. Peas and potatoes. Gingerbread.
Tuesday
Ratatouille, rice, sausages: lamb with rosemary, veal with truffles, crunchy winter salad.
Wednesday
Chickpea and leek soup, grilled sandwiches.
Thursday
Swedish potato pancakes with lingonberries, salad as before.
Friday
Homemade burgers (lamb?) with all the trimmings.

I'm Giving You A Hug Just Like This

Today it's -12°C, -18°C when I left home this morning. (Fahrenheit readers: This is very cold.)
I pull the children home from school on a sleigh. On a sleigh. Positively Laura Ingalls.
The advent calendar I've been bragging about is a triumph (more brag). Will take pictures today.
Yes, the reason for the bad photos lately is the lack of light.
You really can't blame me for that.
To please my mother (ha! good one!) I have made a wishlist on amazon.co.uk. A Christmas drenched in books is a good Christmas to me.
We are going to Egypt.
To Egypt!
Unfortunately there's been a shark incident this week and now I'm hiding all newspapers from Wilhelm. Someone was apparently eaten.
So now Egypt spells fear to me in three different ways:
Bankruptcy. Food poisoning. Shark attack.
This should be an exciting trip.

Dear You

I started blogging because I needed a place to put my words.
I write for a living. Some days it's all I do, for hours on end. But I had things to say and words to use and sentences to spell out that noone in the world was willing to pay for (rightly so).
So I started a blog. A place for unwanted words (and dolls who pretend to be bears).
I hoped that a friend or two would stop by for updates on the kids.
I thought that maybe one day I could use these words, some way or other.
I never dreamed of You.
You who come here and read my words and wonder if I'm ok.
You who come here and say that I wrote what you felt and that you're crying now and it's all my fault.
You who come here and never say anything, but are here just the same.
Dear Miranda and Kathleen. Dear RW. Dear All of You.
I come here and see you and I can't believe my luck.
Thank You.

Hello Friday

A week of things going up and things going down.
Some people being more helpful than one can hope for.
Others being who they are and good enough.
But most of all, all of us, trying our best.
And maybe you couldn't tell from looking at me.
And maybe you couldn't tell from listening to me.
But this going up and going down thing,
when I look at the reason for this roller coaster,
I'm very happy.
I created it. I choose it. I deal with it.
It's mine.

On Sunday Christmas begins.
At least to me.
Have a good Friday and thank you for reading.

Christmas Wish List

A doll who pretends to be a bear? Yes, please. I don't see how anyone could resist. More Black Apple creations to be found on Etsy, here, and at Emily Martin's blog, here. Really lovely.

It's Here

It's November 25th and I'm wearing fur and The Ugly Shoes. A personal best. Last year the snow came on Saint Lucia's Day, December 13, and stayed to the beginning of March. It was like living in a cliché for three months. The Image of Sweden every time you opened the door. I wonder what this winter will be like.

The Kid Stays In The Picture

Wilhelm disappeared in time for bed. I looked everywhere.


I did not look here.


Surprise!


After climbing out of the box even Wilhelm was surprised he'd been able to squeeze into it.
"Look how tiny it is! Am I really that small?"
Yes, you are. And a beautiful thing that is.

Random On Wednesday

• We're having our first blizzard of the season. I love that word. Blizzard.
• The picture above is not from today. If I posted from today you'd all be crying.
• I'm finishing my Advent calendar project and it's starting to look good.
• My parents are driving up from Midsomer (in the blizzard) and will be here until Saturday.
• I love to have them in town.
• Even if I won't see them everyday, I just love knowing they are here.
• Sunday is First Sunday of Advent. Big deal over here. Church outfits ready.
• Dear Lord, make the children behave in church.
• Oh, is that my job? Ok. I see. Will try.
• The picture from above is from two weeks ago. Very hard to believe when you look out the window.
• Many things are upside down at the moment.
• But I trust they will all be alright in the end.
• I have to remember I love all this. I made this mess.
• I love this mess.
• Thank you for reading.