Monday, October 1, 2012

So Here's What Happened

I started throwing up. As I do. When pregnant.

And I couldn't stop. As I can't. When pregnant. And so I threw up for eleven weeks and after that I was in no shape to either talk, walk or blog. 

I'm now 32 weeks and larger than life and a big mess of feelings, hunger, nausea, back pain and guilt. As of today I'm no longer working and it makes me feel both relieved and a little anxious. Like I'm cheating. Like I'm supposed to be able to handle this. Being pregnant, taking care of my family, making money, writing great stuff. But I can't. It doesn't work for me. So that's it. I'm taking the money making and the writing out of the equation and hopefully that will help with the other parts. The guilt, well, I'll be working on that.

But it feels good to be back here. I haven't visited this place in months and I don't know what will happen now. Will anyone read this? Is anyone still here? To tell you the truth, Blogger's made so many changes since I last posted anything that I don't even know if I can still manage this thing. But I'll try. And I'll be back tomorrow. Hope to see you then.


Miranda Robertson said...

Such beautiful, wonderful news! Sometimes I worry about the not writing as much, not money making as much and then I just sit in the garden with the children and read stories and for a moment at least, nothing else matters.

Anna Ander said...

Miranda! So good to see you again! You absolutely made my day. And thank you. It really is wonderful.

Callie Grayson said...

Anna! what amazing news. I am so happy to see you back here. I have missed your posts. I do hope you are feeling much better soon and not throwing up anymore.

Anna Ander said...

Callie! Thank you so much and how wonderful to see you! I haven't been reading any blogs for months, so I have a lot of catching up to do – and looking forward to that very much. Hope all is well with you. (Not throwing up anymore, makes life a whole lot better. Thanks for asking!)

ElizaHennessey said...

You snuck this in in a week when I am SWAMPED with work and craziness and LIFE! I am so happy for you and your family!