Conversation

Mary: When you were, say nineteen, what was the one part of your body that you knew you "had"? You know, like one part you could always count on. That wouldn't let you down. You know, that let you get away with things!
Me: (thinking hard) Umm, my ass?
Mary: (checks me out) Yeah, yep. Yes, I can see that. Yes.
Me: How about you?
Mary: (acting all surprised) Me?
Me: Yes, you. Gimme a break.
Mary: Umm, yes... I guess for me it was, umm... My whole body.
Me: (stunned silence)
Mary: Well, you know...
Me: (stunned silence)
Mary: But it was! Sorry! It was!
Me: (not having to check her out) Yeah. I know.

I would hate her if I didn't love her. Oh, and she's six months pregnant while uttering this. With child number three. Would definitely hate her if I didn't love her.