The Answer Is Blowing In The Wind

Blanka brought a red balloon on a string to daycare. "Meet my dog", she said, "his name is Lasse." And she trailed him after herself, getting him caught under the bike and in the lilacs. I hope he makes it through the day. And if not, will we have to bury him under the apple trees?

Here There And Everywhere (And All Over The Place)

I'm short of breath and a little off track and most definitely out of focus.
And I look at this photo and feel myself unclench.
Just like that.
And then I look at it too long and get even more out of breath, off track, out of focus.
Still worth it.

Turns Out We're Great!

Gabrielle Blair (or DesignMom) has been in Stockholm for a short stop over, visiting my friends at Polarn O. Pyret (Becks and Marylove, are you reading this?). It was great reading her report on Swedish parenting. We tend to focus on the things we don't do so well (the classic Swedish low self esteem taking over), so it was lovely hearing someone say we're doing a pretty good job! I think we are too. Yay us! (I wrote the longest comment evah evah evah on Gabrielle's post, you'll find it buried under about a million others. She has a lot of readers.) Anyway, thanks for the perspective. Much needed.

Read This

Thanks to Denise I'm reading Gabrielle Hamilton's memoirs. I'd never heard about Gabrielle or Prune before, but I have a thing for both New York and chef's memoirs so it wasn't a really big decision. And it's an excellent book, I just want to finish it in one bite. I haven't read anything that gives me this much pleasure in a long time. Thanks, Denise! I want to savour it and swallow it whole at the same time. And it makes me very hungry. If you liked Comfort me with apples, there's a good chance you might love this too. So read it, you'll like it.

More books tomorrow, now I need to do the things that didn't get done when I was sick. Bleh.

In Sickness And In Health

I keep falling asleep.
When I wake I can hear them laughing downstairs, Blanka is singing a song about how she wants a doll that is bald. They're having pancakes for dinner. It smells really good.
I'm sick. My first sick day as selfemployed. So far no major drama has occurred.
So I sleep and wait for tomorrow.
I can hear them, washing hands, finishing up, they're tired.
It's just one of those nights.
Going from laughter to crying to screaming and back to laughter again in two minutes.
I keep falling asleep.
And thinking about the OC. How lame was the last season? Ryan and Taylor? Puh-leeze.
And what was the name of that show about a doctor whose wife dies and he moves to Alaska (Vermont?) with his son and daughter? And the son is a thinker and falls in love with the cheerleader and her hockey boyfriend has leukemia (brain tumour?).
Just some of the more important things I'm pondering today.
I wish someone would bring me some pancakes.
Preferably my husband.
Since I happen to find him immensly attractive.
Did I mention it's our ninth anniversary today?
Nine years of marriage that feels like two weeks and forever at the same time.
It makes me happy every day.
Too bad I keep falling asleep.

Nothing, Really

Work to be done and things to be read and stuff to accomplish.
But not all that much getting crossed off the list.
Maybe the list is too long?
I would very much like this day to have a few more hours.
Like right now.
Book club tonight, but that won't happen.
And school meeting too, but that won't happen either.
But there will be homemade pizza.
And I put on a polkadot dress.
These facts together gotta count for something.
Right?
Ok, back to the list.
And coffee.

Garden Update Season Premiere

It's been a lovely warm and sunny couple of weeks and now we're back to more normal Swedish spring weather. I don't have to water much. But rain is good! Since I am not only lazy sunbather person but also suburban gardener type of person I've decided that rain is my friend. So rain, take my hand! I will cherish thee as long as you stay away from July.

Potatoes are not in the ground yet, due to suburban gardener type of person also being suburban procrastinator type of person, but will get there. Let's just focus on what is in the ground, shall we?

1) Weeds. And lots of them. I mean amazingly dramatically surprisingly huge amounts of weeds.

2) Tomatoes (as seen above in pots). No, not from seed. Who am I, Caroline Ingalls? (God, I wish I were Caroline Ingalls.)

3) Something I forgot.

4) Carrots. From seed! And on some kind of tape, for easy planting. Genius.

5) Rosemary, basil, thyme, parsley.

6) Strawberries (they look so few, might have to get some more).

7) More tomatoes.

8) Onions (because they were really easy to plant)

9) Courgette growing like crazy indoors, will plant outside this week.

10) No, that's probably it.

I've bought seeds for pumpkins and salad, but they are still waiting on the kitchen counter. We'll see. And we've planted some flowers as well. Have to get to the potatoes, but on the whole I'm very content. I think Caroline Ingalls would have me do more of an industrial sized kitchen garden, but I'm too plain lazy. Plus, Caroline never had to leave the homestead, whereas I oftentimes am forced into the cruel world of advertising and cannot focus wholeheartedly on my greens. So there. Updates to follow, of course.

This Wednesday Really Is A Whole Lot Better

A week ago I was running on empty. Today I'm riding my bike.
It really is much better.
Everything is.
And so, once again, I'm reminded to stick to my guts and do what I know to be true.
That whole Purpose thing. Not a bad idea.
Also, since last week I've discovered Twilight.
I know.
But it's good! It really is. Brilliant concept, if nothing else. Virgin meets bad boy who turns out to be True Love AND a vampire, what's not to love? Throw in best friend/potential love interest in form of wherewolf and you've got yourself a pretty good storyline. Hat off.
And I've cut bangs.
I know!
God only knows what'll happen until next Wednesday.
Lovely seeing you here.
Have a good one.
Kyss.

PS. First Garden Update of the season tomorrow, Callie stay tuned!

Go Titans!

The fashion sense of a fouryearold. Can't beat it.

She's My Mother

She loves racing green, William Morris and anything British.
She knows the name of every bird, flower and tree.
She's taught me everything I know about being a mother.
She walks really fast when she's shopping.
She loves my children with a passion.
She'll cry over anything, big or small, happy or sad.
She has freckles everywhere.
She gives good advice but doesn't like to be on the receiving end.
She's the girl my father fell in love with.
She likes things to be just so.
She knew my husband was the one long before I did, but was clever enough to never tell me.
She has a love for books that is true and deep.
She likes a cold whiskey with her hot bath.
She's makes it all happen.
She thinks I'm a lion.
She's my mother.

And today is her birthday. Happy birthday, mamma!

Purpose

A visit to Kathleen yesterday reminded me that I chose a word for 2011. How could I forget? It's been weeks since I thought about it. And I did make a big sign of it (and of my goals for the year, first time ever!) and framed it. Put it right in front of me on my desk. But then I guess I just moved on with things. And I haven't been sitting down a lot lately. Here's what it says:

Get that driver's license
Make money
Write a book
Use your body

Underneath it I've written my word. Purpose. It's such a good word. Exactly what I need this year. And exactly what I needed to be reminded of today. When starting this new adventure, what was it that I wanted to do? Why and how? And for what purpose? These last couple of weeks I've gone a little off track. It's easily done when there's lots to do. But was that the purpose of starting out on my own? To work this much?

I'm proud to be able to check box number two on the list. In many ways it's what makes my work real. Now I just have to find the balance needed to let me do the other things. I need to find my purpose again. And get that license.

Thanks for listening. Good night.

Wednesday Is Almost Friday

No, it is. It has to be. There's hardly any week left in me.

Work In Progress

How many times a day do you lie? Once? Twice? Never? I consider myself a person who sticks to the truth. I don't exaggerate, I don't make things up, I don't Wait. Stop. See, I just did it again. It sneaks up on me like that! I don't lie about important things, and so I think I don't lie at all. Which of course is a total lie. Here are a few samples of my lying from today only:

"No, it's a work-iPhone, it's impossible to download Angry Birds on it."
"Yes, I've studied for the written (driver's license) test. I can take it on Friday, no problem."
"I'm really starting to like the look of this."
"No, it's fine."
"But ten pages of math really isn't that much."
"By Wednesday? No problem."
"I'm really sorry I missed your call."
"Mommy's working, sweets."

So. I'm a work in progress, that's for sure. How about you? Tell any lies today? No? Really? Not even a little one? Oh, come ON.

Dear May

Let me just tell you how happy I am to see you. It's wonderful, as always. I know I come off as an April's child (with the birthday and all), but I have such a soft spot for you. You're pretty (not that looks matter) and kind (often) and you bring all sorts of promises of what's to come and how the best is yet to. You're a treat, that's what you are. And I'm so glad you're here (though you're making us all freeze, please stop, no really, please do). Today is a Monday if ever there was one and my mailbox and phone are full with all sorts of eek- and uaagh- and ohnooo-things. Not very May at all. But you're here. You may be playing a little hard to get this year, but that's ok. From one player to another, how can I blame you? And if you're as hooked on praise as I am, let me make myself clear: You are lovely. You are beautiful. You are green and flowery and springy and all things that I crave right now. So thank you. You're making this Monday less Monday by the minute. (Now turn up the heat!)